Haven’t really posted that much lately, but ironically enough I keep going in to a loop hole of unfortunate events, and a lot of realization. I can really admit that im not trying hard enough to be spiritually intwined with myself. I want to feel his presence with me, I know I do sometimes but never really opened the bible for guidance or prayed. The past few months Ive had so much to think about so much to realize, but still no answer, im still young and still learning, why am I so anxious for the future? so many questions run through my mind, and so much things I want to tell everyone. Maybe thats why I want to go in to Communications, nursing could have been better off for me but then again I wanted to do something different, something I felt was my “calling” I want to be a speaker, educate the young, feed them my stories and my knowledge, and work with the media, emotionally shock people and give them chills running down their spine. But besides what my future endeavors are, I wanted to speak the “ugly truth”, im the type of person who appreciates everything, my friends and family, and dont get me wrong the classes I take. I feel something with everyone wether its emotional or just spiritually I some what understand. Yea just call me an understanding person :). I may come off as this sweet person, but get to know me then you’ll surely see how complex I am, you might understand me but then I go in to this loop hole then again it repeats, yea somewhat I feel im on repeat, emotional, happy, emotional, happy, depressed, fun, exciting, etc.. Keeps going on and on and on, and I know that who we are as a people we have all these damn things going on in our life’s and we never really get to see it as a big picture. Theres the people that just goes with it, theres the people who dont care, theres the people who actually care but is afraid to say it, then lastly theres the people who care to much. Basically if you go with the “flow” you’ll never grow, but if you go your own direction and follow what you know and learn from others then you might just get somewhere. Our world is very very complex no words can explain nor gestures, we all have to learn it for our selfs, wether its the hard way or hard way, yea thats right theres no easy way out in life, if it was easy then our fuken world would be perfect. :) and thats the ugly truth (in my eyes)