If only you knew how much I thought about you every single night, How I get to carried away and think you’ll start a conversation with me. How hopeful I am that you might just be my first love.
The feeling of throwing out the old. Yupp pretty much cleaned most of my unoccupied room since school started, but now that im back home for the break my room was long over due for some cleaning. Did the simple things, vacuumed, dusted, every inch of my ceiling fan haha, but then I went to the little stuff under my bed, in binders all from high school and summer of 09 and 10. I found pictures of friends who I no long talk to, and I just went in to this nostalgic mode, all the memories, all the laughs we had, it was just timeless. I even found floaters that everyone wrote on, haha there was my birthday floater since 09 then graduation gloaters. My room is a time capsule of the past so I didn’t throw any of it away just the useless stuff like old candy leis, condoms.. haha jk, but you know what I mean. But the greatest find I have discovered was this old poster i made for my mom, it was a poem and just how much i appreciated her, I guess it was for mothers day but im not to sure, haha but guess when i made this poster? the year of 1999. The fact I stil had it even when we moved from the house I was raised in in elementary, just blew my mind. So from cleaning I was just reminded how beautiful memories can be, and Its always best to make new ones. and Heres a little quote for you “If you dont start with great beginnings, how will your past be”? Just something to think about :)
Its not what you say or do, its not what you get or give, its the thought that counts, by that saying “its the thought that counts” im not literally referring to a gift of any sort, nor a christmas gift, but the thought of doing something and literally taking action for it. I have to write this because its so true. Once you have that thought in your head, that mind set of what your gonna do, the next step would take action, and from that action you deliver. Haha yea your probably wondering where my point is going but, the truth is there is no point. You just have to go with it no mater what, life is to short, always remember that the thought does count. It all starts from a thought, and it unfolds to something greater. Something so great you dont even know. I have had the thought of talking to someone so long but never really had the courage to. I never ever had any courage before in my life. But things change, people change, we all change for the better or for the worst. But honestly no one should really care if someone has changed, its either you support them or not, cause they are who they are, and if you were their true friend then youll stick with them until the end. but hey people has different perspectives and dont really have that much maturity to see the bigger picture in this world. Discrimination, racism, sexism, etcc are so yesterday but the sad truth is its still alive at this moment, and the better thing to do is to realize is it that necessary to hate someone of different skin, to hate someone who drinks/smokes, who has sex a lot, whos gay! No one really cares but the people who dont support them. Your simply being a closed minded person who only looks at their own views and never really have the chance to look at the big picture. And from this I would like to say this to my friends, people who I hang out with, and people who hate me for no known reason, support me or dont, my life is my life, and I know what im doing im living my life and not giving a fuck what you think, because honestly I do support my friend one hundred and ten percent no matter what color they are, no matter what gender, or ethnicity, and no matter if they drink or smoke, I dont care, as long as they do nothing to harm me or themselves and everything is fine. and for all you half assed friends im sorry but your gonna be out of my life sooner then you know it because slowly your loosing me because a friendship is supposed to be 100 percent, I put an effort of 50 and so do you, if im the only one giving all I got then fuck it your not worth it! PEACE
thoughts from tonight. First off I just wanna be with people I can do spontaneous things with, I just want to live life, not be boring as fuck. Whats the point of life if your not gonna live it? right! well honestly great nights like these gets me thinking. You dont wanna be wasting your life with people who dont care about you. yea words can say a lot but actions definitely speak louder than words. Wouldn’t you wanna be around people you care about and who care about you also, wouldn’t you wanna be around positive energy not negative. Just think about it, are your true friends really that truthful?
Secondly, Life is bigger then you and me, have you ever wondered why we felt sad, why we all of a sudden wanna break down just for no reason. Why do we feel so lifeless sometimes? Maybe someone like you, a clone maybe, is out there hurting in their world? Do we really go to heaven when we die, is there reincarnation after death? or do we just have an endless sleep?
What goes through our mind is so complex so hard to deliberate from what reality is! Think about it, our world we live in is the most complex thing out there, you never know what will happen.
The things that go on in my mind, I dont even know, if someone knew my thoughts, knew my questions, and knew how I felt they would be speechless, to bad its only for me myself and I :)
